tales from the surviving straight spouse

The Snake Smiled

As I was trying to get the cat in a few weeks ago, the mail man announced “right behind you.”  His voice is sweet and kind.

My mail man is cute.  He’s about my age and his eyes sparkle.  I am sure he is taken.

He delivered a letter with a return address from DD’s lawyer, aka The Snake.

Ewww.  This is never good.

It is the documents from Voodoo Dildo Live (also known as the Me Vs DD in court).  I had asked The Snake to forward his handwritten copy of the court orders that following Monday after our Friday court date.  He didn’t.

Instead he waited until they had been officially submitted and signed by the judge.  Of course – there were grave errors.  I sent a letter to the judge and The Snake with the corrections.  I didn’t hear back from The Snake, so I called him 5 days later.  His secretary said they never received my letter.  I faxed the copy immediately.

Four days later I get another letter from The Snake stating that I never sent him the original letter.  He writes that I am trying to rewrite the judge’s decision and that I knew exactly what he had submitted in rough draft after our hearing.

I try to contact DD – does he know that his lawyer is running up the legal fees and eventually the judge will review the record and correct the order.  DD states that he has complete confidence in his lawyer.


Again, I write to the judge and explain how The Snake stated he was in a hurry that day and I agreed to get a copy of the orders after they are submitted – I did a cursory review – why would anyone change a judges orders?

The Snake writes to the judge that I am remembering incorrectly, that I am disrespectful, attempting to ‘re-argue the judge’s most expert decision’  and I am being disparaging to the court and unfair.  The same lawyer who allowed his client to petition to the court that I am an unfit mother and DD should have his sons full time – with only every other weekend for me.

Sometimes I am disturbed by my own gullibility.  Strangely, there is a part of me that likes to be naive – it is that part that cultivates hope.  It is what makes me dangerously unique.

Once again, I am on the phone with the judge’s office.  I am afraid of authority – I think that I will be made to pay in some horrible way for ‘bugging them’ – even if the truth is on my side.  I find it hard to speak to the law clerk without crying.  She assures me that the judge will just review the tapes of the hearing and make necessary changes.  I thank her profusely and tell her that this is all I needed to know.

Almost 2 months later, DD had to ask The Snake to make yet another correction.  Interesting that the best law firm in the area has such a stubborn foolish lawyer – voted “Rising Star” the past two years.  Just wait until I report him to the Bar Association – I hear a fizzle.

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