tales from the surviving straight spouse

Finding Answers

I never thought that when I began working with children, I would be making many calls to Child Protective Services.  I especially never thought that I would be making them for my own children.  Any time I make a call for child to report suspected abuse or neglect I am full of sadness.  An innocent person is being taken advantage of, abused, or neglected.  There is no greater evil in this world, than to harm an innocent person.  To the people who have a call made about them, I always imagine them cursing the person who made the call. I have never imagined anyone thinking I am glad I am going to get the help I need, something is wrong, I am wrong, I need help.

The aching sadness consumes me and my brain is a swirl of confusion.  I thought for sure that the pediatrician would call for an investigation and if not him, then the school. No one would step up to it. No one who spoke with Son #2 was alarmed enough by what had happened.  So, it fell on me, because for so many reasons the situation wasn’t right:

  1.  I find it nearly impossible that he could shave his scrotum on his own without cutting himself.
  2.  If he didn’t do it himself, then who did?
  3. If he did do it himself, where did he get the idea?
  4. If he did do it himself, where was his father?
  5. Where did he get the razor?
  6. He said he did it at his Dad’s home, but his father states that he had no idea – wouldn’t anybody notice all  of that hair?
  7. Why was his father not outraged and surprised and wanting answers?
  8. And the scariest question of them all was why, why did his father not want me to tell anyone?

The conversation on the hotline is stressful,so many questions and so much information is needed.  They told me that there was not enough to open an investigation.  I am disappointed and slightly relieved.  The turmoil of an investigation can be horrible.

Twenty minutes later they call back.  “We are going to investigate – we are opening a 72 hour child welfare investigation.”

Any time child protective services has been called on DD he has made  me pay emotionally.  When he left the boys home alone the first time, son #4 began to tell me what a bad mommy I was.  I called again when son #4 had Croup and was receiving nebulizer treatments.  He was left in the care of his older brother who has Autism and there was no working phone in the house.  After that, he attempted to get full custody of the kids, which fortunately he was shot down.

I don’t know what he will do this time, but I do know that I want answers and I want to know our sons are safe,  I will pay any price for that.

Comments on: "Finding Answers" (2)

  1. Jeanie Calenoff said:

    I am crying.

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