tales from the surviving straight spouse

Blinding Rage

There seems to be no one who is willing to see that this is a serious problem.

I went to the police to make sure I had covered all my options.  I informed the detective that I felt threatened.  I informed the detective that son #2 is really unable to do this alone because he could not have thought of it himself and he does not have the  manual dexterity to do it.  The detective just seems to be looking at me blankly.  He tells me that I have done everything that I could have and that it is up to Child Protective Services.  He tells me that if Child Protective Services needs the police to get involved that they will call him.  He said the he will reach out to the case manager and tell her that I stopped by.

I try to make it clear that I am not on some kind of witch hunt.  I try to make it clear that I am afraid for my son, that he is incredibly vulnerable and easily manipulated.  The detective says that he understands that.  He tells me that if I had come to the police first about this incident that they would have called Child Protective Services, too.

I want to cry.  I want to scream.  I thank him and begin to walk out.  I cry as I leave, not turning around once.  He walks behind me down the hall.  I hear him turn and go up the steps.  I walk out into the parking lot and the tears are pouring down my cheeks.  This is not going to get resolved.  This is not going to get solved.

I get a text from DD.  He is trying to get to the “bottom of this call to Child Protective Services.  I called the school but they are giving me the run around.  Can you tell me the name of the nurse you spoke to?”

Isn’t it obvious to anyone that it is so disgusting and strange that he is more interested in first, not getting anyone involved in figuring out who touched his son and second now that they are involved, who is it that started this process?  Sickeningly strange that he is more focused on why people are investigating that his son’s scrotum has been shaved and instead of who the hell did it.   What father would not want to get answers regarding possible abuse towards their son?

a father who already has all the answers.

and I am afraid, I never will get the truth.

Comments on: "Blinding Rage" (5)

  1. denise petersen said:

    oh sweet woman, i am holding you and your boys in my heart! stay strong. sending all love. xoxo

  2. the bunni said:

    I hear you drowning but I know you are strong enough to stay above surface, at least to tread water until this nightmare resolves. (And meanwhile DD is drowning, soiling himself at the prospect of a badge knocking on his door.)

    I’ve been lost in this country. It is no place for children or those who fear for their safety. All I can offer from this distance is prayer and hope. The truth of these things eventually outs.

  3. smallsatori said:

    Hang in there, love…”the bunni” is right, it will come out, in part because you are such a staunch advocate for your boys, and are willing to do all of this, excruciating as it is. (I take it DD doesn’t know about reporter anonymity? and clearly doesn’t give a shit?)
    love you

  4. Oh such pain in your posts. Stay strong for the kids at this point. Its amazing to find out that these men we thought we knew are not what we thought. Its a strange reality. Glad that your boys have you to steer them through some new reality. Keep posting. I will continue to read!

  5. felixfemina said:


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: